I try not to put too much stock in horoscopes. I'm not sure if I buy into the belief that "that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality," as is so eloquently stated in the Big Bang Theory pilot episode. However, sometimes I am flabbergasted that, when reading my daily horoscope or the personality description of those whose births fall under my astrological sign, I find it is absolutely, 100 percent accurate. And then I wonder....
According to my astrological sign, Cancer, I am an emotional person: overly sensitive and moody. Well that right there sums me up in what, four words? Let's take it a step further and elaborate a little bit more, shall we? Because I'm bored at work and rather curious about Zodiac signs these days, I Googled the Cancer sign to see what came up. Included with the ridiculously long-winded description (that I'm too lazy at this point to hash out) were these key words, which supposedly describe my sign: gentle, conservative, feeling, nurturing, defensive, contemplative. I do possess those characteristics, and that right there makes me wonder if I shouldn't take with a grain of salt what I read as my horoscope each day.
Last week, I downloaded a horoscope App for my phone not because I wanted to refer to it incessantly and live my life based on what was proposed as a horoscope for me, but because I was bored and thought it might be interesting to check out. This week, I've looked it almost immediately after getting out of bed in the morning. Every. Single. Day. There are a few key phrases and sentences that I've seen used in the last week that (believe it or not!) actually do pertain to my life and what has been going on lately.
Yesterday, for example, my horoscope read (in part): Someone in your world is telling you a story you want to believe. This person may or may not be misleading you intentionally, but yet you are being misled..." It reminded me a little bit about the doubts I've had raised in my head (not to mention my heart) about Doc in the last month.
So this morning, I eagerly checked what was in store for me for today:
Since you are reading this horoscope, the world did not end on May 21. Did you believe that the end was near? Did you fear that a devastating earthquake would shake the earth to its core? If so, you must be pretty relieved. If not, then you may be wondering what all the fuss was about. The answer, dear crab, is that human beings need drama. We need to believe that there is a purpose for being here - and for some it translates to a beginning and an end, and a judgment. But if you live in the present, you have everything. Don't miss a special moment because of regrets from the past or fears of the future.
I am particularly stuck on the last few sentences, mostly because I find it difficult to do that, however much I might want to. Lately, though, I have been trying to take life one day at a time. I have a very zen, "it is what it is" philosophy about life these days and have been going through my life operating under the assumption that something good is destined for me and that I should enjoy each day as it comes until I finally get to where I need to be. Try as I might, though, I can't help but relapse into my old ways: stressing about what tomorrow will bring, worrying about things that I did or said yesterday and wondering how it will affect my life tomorrow.
Much of this, I know, is a sign of insecurity. I can't explain why I often feel the way I do -- like why do I feel massive panic attacks over things that are far beyond my control? -- when I know with absolute certainty that I shouldn't.
Maybe I'll get lucky and tomorrow's horoscope will tell me?
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