It is what it is...

These last few weeks have brought with them a number of changes in my life. Some good, some bad, but all for the best... I hope.

There are a handful of people who know what has happened, and a handful more who are astute enough to have gleaned the truth from my always super-cryptic Facebook postings, but I haven't really felt like I need to announce it to the world just yet. I don't need to beat others over the head with my personal struggles.  I've taken the "it is what it is" approach to handling my emotions lately and I feel much better for it. I don't have control over everything that happens in my life and I have to have faith that God has a plan for me and if I enjoy my life and what I have, ultimately, I'll find the path that will lead me to where I'm supposed to be. That doesn't mean I'm 100 percent OK, though. Whenever people ask me how I'm doing, I say "fine," because I am, but I do have my moments. Last night was one of them. Sitting along in my super-small (read: cozy) living room with a book (because my TV is on the fritz again!!!), I couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness over the events of the last few weeks. I feel I'm entitled to these moments since, after all, I am getting out of bed every morning. I am well aware that I can't just erase the last year of my life, but learning to adjust to life on my own is a bit more daunting than I had expected. I like my personal space and I like knowing I can be independent, but I still want someone to share my experiences with, and I think that's what I'm struggling with the most.

Despite these changes and my previous rants about my resistance to change, I still find myself on a search for... something more. I have this unwavering faith that if I just believe, good things will come my way. I wake up each morning with a renewed sense of purpose, convinced I am on the road to greatness. What greatness that is, I'm still not sure yet, but I like to be positive. I keep hoping that my tenacity will pay off; that my words will speak for themselves; and that someone, somewhere, will notice that I'm wasting my time here and scoop me up to better use my skills elsewhere.

Someday.