To do

I am neurotic. There, I've said it. Are you happy? I like order and control and if I don't have any (of one or both), it tends to drive me a little....crazy.

In anticipation of leaving work/my apartment to head back to my childhood home for a week, I've spent the last few days planning what to bring (and what not to bring) and making lists of things that need to be packed in advance as well as the day I leave, and the various chores I need to have completed before vacating my apartment for a week. Whew! I lose my breath just thinking about it. You see? It's madness, I tell you.

My to-do list has grown exponentially these last few days and while I've been gleefully crossing items off in my quest to have complete and total control over every aspect of the packing process, I've also been adding items (two things to do for every one thing I cross off, it seems). It's morphing into something beyond my control and it's driving me insane. It is especially nerve-wracking today since I am supposed to leave in a few short hours and I feel like there is still so much to do.

Part of the problem is that I need to call my landlord to come in while I'm gone to fix my bathroom sink (and possibly the tile on the bathroom floor), which means I need to erase all evidence of contraband from my humble little abode. No, I'm not talking about drugs here, I'm referring to my cat, Oreo. Kitty toys have already been hidden, my rug has already been vacuumed (several times in fact) to eradicate any excess kitty litter/hairballs, the food/water dishes will be packed along with his litter box, all pictures of him (and all other felines) have been removed. If you didn't know any better and you came into my place, you'd never know there was a cat in there... I hope. All is neat and tidy, even my bathroom, which I scrubbed with vigor last night.

But now that I'm all set to go, I've got mixed feelings about leaving. In the past, I've always left here to escape being lonely but now that I've got a life here and people I enjoy spending time with, I can't help but feel like I'm going to be missing out on all the fun with my friends.

*sigh*

I suppose once I leave and settle in at my parents, I'll be happy to be gone and the week will fly by way too fast, right?

That said, I'm still sure I'll miss home.

The list

My life is an open book...literally. Chances are, if you play even a minor part in my life, you'll one day appear in my memoirs, "It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time." Just saying...

I have been hanging my hat on the above notion lately. I am the queen of bad decisions. I can't help it; I love trouble, apparently. And the older I get, the more stupid mistakes I make. I thought you were supposed to get wiser with age? I notice I've been getting less cautious and more brazen. One day, I have a feeling my tendency to act on impulse is going to get me into trouble (big trouble in at least one case, possibly two), but... it makes life more interesting and I've taken on an "I'm not going to die wondering" approach to life these days. So far, I have to admit I kinda like it. Love it, in fact.

The other day I was scanning my bookcases for something to read when I stumbled on 2,001 Things to Do Before You Die. I perused the list (some of the ideas were too far out there, even for me) and decided I wanted to come up with my own "To Do" list, although not quite as extensive. I figure if nothing else, attaining some crazy life goals would help me along with the book-writing process...

For now, I'll start with this but don't worry, I'll create a more detailed, personal list later. Stay tuned!